Changes

My mom passed away in 2007. My relationship with my dad has gone through some changes since then. Initially, the relationship with my dad improved. We live six hours apart on a good day, so since I couldn't visit I would call him twice a day. I would call once in the morning and ask him about his plans for the day and then in the evening to see how his day went. I didn't want him to feel alone. I asked him if he'd eaten, what he had done that day, if he'd had any visitors...just anything and everything I could think of to talk to him about.

He and my mom were married for 51 1/2 years so the thought of him being alone was scary to me. I worried so much about him...

We visited my dad three or four times during the summer of 2007 helping him however we could. He enjoyed our visits as much as we did. He came to Michigan in the fall of 2007 to help us move. It was again a nice visit. He came in February of 2008 to watch my girls so I could attend an awards dinner with my husband. He was suppose to stay for several days to celebrate our fourth daughter's first birthday, but the next morning he had the car running before I was even out of bed...I was up at 8am. He's was gone fifteen minutes after I got up and a major snow storm was on the way.

Now, I am lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call at least once a week, but I am rarely able to contact him. I can't even count the number of times he has told me he was going to visit in a few weeks. He has visited a few times when he said he would, but more times than not he doesn't come. My issue with him not coming to visit is that when he says he is coming I (was) tell(ing) my girls and they get excited and when he doesn't show up they are disappointed. I had stopped telling them when he mentioned visiting because he was so frequently telling me he'd be coming only to not and I got tired of upsetting my girls.

Well, he told me once again that he was coming and I mistakenly told my girls. He was suppose to be here on December 13th, then the 26th, and then today. The phone message I received today said he'd be leaving tomorrow morning. My girls asked today if he was coming, my response was a simple "I don't know what Grandpa has planned." I won't make the mistake of telling them he's coming again.

I am sad because I have always been "Daddy's girl" and I don't feel like I am anymore. He's so unpredictable and the changes in him worry me. I don't know what to think or do. I guess I will wait and see how things are if and when he visits...