Changes

My mom passed away in 2007. My relationship with my dad has gone through some changes since then. Initially, the relationship with my dad improved. We live six hours apart on a good day, so since I couldn't visit I would call him twice a day. I would call once in the morning and ask him about his plans for the day and then in the evening to see how his day went. I didn't want him to feel alone. I asked him if he'd eaten, what he had done that day, if he'd had any visitors...just anything and everything I could think of to talk to him about.

He and my mom were married for 51 1/2 years so the thought of him being alone was scary to me. I worried so much about him...

We visited my dad three or four times during the summer of 2007 helping him however we could. He enjoyed our visits as much as we did. He came to Michigan in the fall of 2007 to help us move. It was again a nice visit. He came in February of 2008 to watch my girls so I could attend an awards dinner with my husband. He was suppose to stay for several days to celebrate our fourth daughter's first birthday, but the next morning he had the car running before I was even out of bed...I was up at 8am. He's was gone fifteen minutes after I got up and a major snow storm was on the way.

Now, I am lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call at least once a week, but I am rarely able to contact him. I can't even count the number of times he has told me he was going to visit in a few weeks. He has visited a few times when he said he would, but more times than not he doesn't come. My issue with him not coming to visit is that when he says he is coming I (was) tell(ing) my girls and they get excited and when he doesn't show up they are disappointed. I had stopped telling them when he mentioned visiting because he was so frequently telling me he'd be coming only to not and I got tired of upsetting my girls.

Well, he told me once again that he was coming and I mistakenly told my girls. He was suppose to be here on December 13th, then the 26th, and then today. The phone message I received today said he'd be leaving tomorrow morning. My girls asked today if he was coming, my response was a simple "I don't know what Grandpa has planned." I won't make the mistake of telling them he's coming again.

I am sad because I have always been "Daddy's girl" and I don't feel like I am anymore. He's so unpredictable and the changes in him worry me. I don't know what to think or do. I guess I will wait and see how things are if and when he visits...

Snow

I like snow. I like the way it falls gracefully to the ground and lands gently on the trees. One of my favorite things to do is to saddle up and go for a long trail ride when it is snowing, but I haven't been able to do this for years so now I take walks and snow shoe.

We have over fourteen inches of snow on the ground and more is falling right now. I hope to be able to go snow shoeing tomorrow. It's a great workout, but more than the workout I would like to have a little time for me...just a few minutes to gather my thoughts and breathe.

Making the world a more beautiful place.

I wanted to have a place to share the adventures of raising my five girls, so I created a blog for that, too. Life is never dull with 1 teenager, 2 pre-teens, a toddler and a newborn. I am blessed to have them all, but sometimes I wonder what the heck was I thinking! I am so out numbered. I only hope they have mercy on me...

http://makingtheworldamorebeautifulplace.blogspot.com

A homeless man.

There is a homeless man who 'lives' in our area. I see him on his bicycle holding what I presume are his belongings in a trash bag and dragging the edge of a very dirty blanket on the ground. On rainy and snowy days he wears a pair of big yellow boots...the kind a firefighter wears and holds a black umbrella shielding himself from the weather. He is now wearing a hat, gloves and insulated overalls to help keep him warm in our winter weather.

Every time I see him, I wonder what his name is and what circumstances led him to be homeless. I wonder if he has family and if they know he's homeless or even care. I wonder how he keeps warm and if he gets to eat everyday.

I know if I were homeless I would hope and pray that someone would help me, do you think he feels the same?

Natural beauty.

Over the summer I found a fabulous trail not far from our house. The trail is just off a road that has a canopy of trees on both sides that form an archway. This road is called a natural beauty road and rightfully so. It's beautiful no matter what time of year you drive down it. In the spring the buds of the leaves begin to fill the sky and the wild flowers begin to bloom along the edges of the road. The archway is filled with green, red, and yellow leaves in the summer and the dashes of blue from flax flowers add to the scenic view. In the fall, the trees with their red, yellow and orange leaves form a fiery archway. The archway is only filled with branches in the winter and the snow looks like a thick frosting sitting atop them.

I had intended to write about the trail and the time I spent walking there during the summer, but I guess that will be for another day.

The road.

A few more pictures

Beautiful dragonflies.

A few pictures from summer

Aren't these butterflies beautiful?






A snake!

My first blog!

I have wanted to start a blog for sometime, but hesitated for a lot of reasons. One of the reasons was I am afraid of failing and feared that no one would ever read my blog or wouldn't like what I had to say.

I am letting go of my fear of failing. It's just a blog, right? Can I really fail at writing my own blog!?! I don't think so. :) I have also decided that it will be just fine if no one ever reads my blog or if what I write isn't liked because it's not about anyone but me.

I do not intend to sound selfish. It's just that I need a little something for me and this is it. Welcome to my blog.