A Goddess Rising

Farmer Market

2009-07-21T22:33:00.002-04:00

One of my favorite activities in the summer is to go the Farmer Market. The atmosphere is so relaxing. I enjoy seeing the people and taking in the sights and smells. I love seeing all the colorful fruits, flowers and vegetables and picking out the freshest ones. It's wonderful bringing home all of the delicious produce and enjoying it with my family.

Here are some photos of the beautiful finds at the Farmer Market.

Is your mouth watering yet? :)

:(

2009-07-13T15:36:00.015-04:00

I am continually trying to reinforce to my children that for each action there is a reaction, for each decision made there is an outcome that can be positive or negative. I want them to understand that these reactions and outcomes do not just affect them but in some instances everyone who knows and cares for them and even possibly a stranger. It is an ongoing lesson, sometimes easily remembered, sometimes not.

We have no issues with talking about a story from the news to reinforce that listening to your parents, following the rules and thinking through the decision and possible outcomes is what is best for them. There are no topics that are off limit here. We discuss everything within the ability of the child to understand. If they have questions, we answer them or help them find the answer so they understand.

One of the topics that we have discussed on occasion is suicide. My oldest daughter had a friend whose uncle killed himself a few years ago. Kaelin knew him, but not well. She was sad because her friend was distraught over her uncle's death. Although, it was sad that Anna lost her uncle, it was by his choice and not by chance. We needed her to understand that he had made the decision to kill himself, that it was not something that just happened to him.

I could not let my child waste another moment feeling sorry for this man. I wanted her to realize that (her) life is a gift and that each moment should be treasured and lived to the fullest. I wanted her to understand that no matter how difficult the situation or desperate someone felt that there were always options and suicide was not one of them. We discussed how choosing to end your life is indeed your choice, but how this decision affects all the people who know and love you. Each life is entwined with the lives of so many people...family, friends, friends of friends, co-workers, even people you never met. We wanted her to be aware that it wasn't just about her that so many other lives are changed forever in one moment. The impact of this decision affects more than just the person who kills themselves.

It saddens me to hear of someone committing suicide. I honestly cannot imagine the grief, the pain, the unanswered questions of those who knew and loved the person who made this devastating choice. I do not know how a widow would be able to pick up the pieces of her life, to try and heal her heart and continue on. It seems it would be horribly challenging, nearly impossible. Even more challenging, would be to be a widow and a mother. How do you begin to deal with your grief, find peace and care for children who have lost their father and are hurting, too? How do you help your children grow up knowing their father and yet, help them understand that their father chose to take his life? How do you help them grieve, heal and grow up to be all that they can be?

My heart goes out to all who have had a loved one make this devastating choice.

Suicide is a decision I do not understand. :(

2009-07-10T22:22:00.009-04:00

A few days ago, I watched several young men across the road practice their routine for several hours. It had to be perfect, each step, each movement...the precision performed was quite a sight. I was more than captivated by their routine. I wanted to go closer so I could see each step, each movement and watch how carefully and diligently they performed. I debated the rest of the day into the evening with myself as to whether or not I would watch the young men perform the following day.

In the end, I chose to view from afar. I wanted to go closer so I could see, but I did not want to be intrusive or disrespectful. These young men had been practicing a burial ceremony for an Army Major who suddenly passed away. They spent hours practicing and although I did not see their actions up close, I am sure they perfected every movement and honored this man with all the honor and respect he deserved. I did not see as much as I wanted, but what I did see was amazing. I will never forget the precision in which the young soldiers moved, the sound of the gun salute and hearing the trumpet play Taps.

My heart broke for the family. I wanted to run across the road and give the widow the biggest hug and comfort her. I didn't know him, I don't know her, but I feel for her. To have the man you love suddenly pass away would be beyond devastating. I cannot imagine the overwhelming grief and sense of loss. I hope their family finds peace and healing in their memories.

Rest in Peace Major

A few of the young soldiers right before the gun salute.

One of the white balloons released by the family.

Silence

2009-07-10T22:09:00.003-04:00

Here is my entry for the Round Robin Challenge.

My photo was to depict Silence.

Do you hear the silence?

I do. :)

Sweetsauer Photo Hunt #2

2009-06-30T22:29:00.012-04:00

I found out about this photo hunt from NicoleB's blog. Hope you enjoy! :)

Sweetsauer set up a website for the photo challenge. It is here.

1. A View from Above (looking down) - a dragonfly on a stump.

2. A Macro Shot - Monarch on a milkweed.

3. Laughter - My darling daughters enjoying the pool.

4. Relaxation - Buck relaxing by the front step.

5. A Celebration (archive photo) - Julia's second birthday.

6. A Sunset

7. Sun/Lens Flare

8. A Bridge - an old bridge for a train.

9. A Shadow - Running puppy. :)

10. A Garden - A little garden, 3 feet by 3 feet.

11. A Park - The Gazebo at the Children's park.

12. A Street Scene - Downtown Lake Orion.

13. Signage -

14. A Summer Activity - Playing catch.

15. A Summer Treat - Mmm, cherry popscile.

16. Earth -

17. Air/Wind - Wind surfing on the lake.

18. Fire -

19. Water - Rain droplets.

20. Something Vintage (pre-1980) -

21. Something made of Wood - Old wagon wheel.

22. Something made of Glass - Antique glass marbles.

23. Something that Floats - A rubber duck in the pool.

24. Something Railroad related - Train tracks.

25. Something Round - Found this pretty little flower by my favorite walking trail. My girls thought the center would be the perfect 'round' photo.

It's not November, but Vote. :)

2009-06-01T09:26:00.005-04:00

To see all the entries in the scavenger hunt, go to Nicole B's . She has a link for each of the twenty entries if you scroll down to the blog titled, "2nd Scavenger Hunt on Nicole B Photography." If you want to vote for any of the entries in the scavenger hunt, go here.

I would love to hear what your favorite photos were from all the entries in the competition, so leave me a comment or email me.

Happy viewing!

Scavenger Hunt

2009-05-31T17:54:00.014-04:00

My friend Boo introduced me to a scavenger hunt at Nicole B's when she joined the fun in late April. I hesitated in joining at first, but decided a little over a week ago to join. (Nicole B. - I take part!) I had a lot of fun looking for the items on the list and am looking forward to the next one.

Here are my photos, hope you enjoy!

1. A souvenir - a little pair of wooden shoes from the Holland Tulip Festival in Holland, MI.

2. A fish - I had no luck taking a photo of a live fish, so my daughter found this cute one in a book.

3. A religious building - The Methodist Church of Lake Orion.

4. A fire department - Orion Township Fire Department #2

5. A manhole cover - It's located in my front yard. I like the design on it!

6. A postcard - I bought to send to a friend in South Africa.

7. Water - This is an old mill sight near my favorite walking trail.

8. A communication device - This phone was my mom and dad's first home telephone. I loved playing with it as a child. I broke it when we moved and am still sad that I did.

9. A Life event - My precious little one standing for the first time. She's determined to grow up too fast!

10. A foreign stamp - My lovely friend, Kerren sent my girls a calendar from South Africa with photos of amazing animals in it. These were a few of the stamps from the package.

11. A tree - It sits across the road from my house.

12. The living space of a non-human - I love the swan and her cygnets. I hope to get photos of them all on the lake soon.

13. A street mirror - It was my first photo for the scavenger hunt. I was so excited to have found it!

14. A decoration fixed on a house - I had a hard time finding a decoration fixed on a house, so when I saw this I knew it was not time to be picky.

15. A foreign flag - The German flag.

16. A fire - I love this photo! It's one of my favorites.

17. An antenna - I had hoped to find something more interesting, but luck was not on my side...so just a plain old antenna.

18. A phone booth - This was a challenge. Luckily my daughter saw this phone booth last night.

*What was almost my phone booth photo - My attempt to be creative - a photo of my phone in a booth at McDonald's, just in case I didn't find a phone booth. (Yes, I received a lot of strange looks during my McDonald's photo shoot.)

18. A "verboten" sign -

19. A beach - It's as tiny as it looks. It's in Green's Park.

20. A cityscape - Downtown Lake Orion.

22. Something goofy - We were driving down the road yesterday and I saw him. I had to take as many photos as I could while we were sitting at the stop light. I am not sure why but his head and facial hair are half shaven, but my guess is for Red Wings ice hockey tickets.

** What was almost my goofy photo - a store window display.

23. Something carved - A lovely mask from our friend in South Africa.

24. An eye - My third lovely daughter's eye.

25. Something rural - I grew up farming and all that comes with it. I love taking photos of old barns. I knew this one would be perfect for the scavenger hunt.

Bees and trees

2009-05-08T18:54:00.007-04:00

We have two weeping cherry trees in front of our house. Most of the year I think we should cut them down and plant something else in their spot. In the spring though, these two trees are so beautiful when they bloom. One has white blossoms, the other has pink. The tree with the white blossoms bloomed a week or so ago.

I was almost afraid to walk out the front door due to all the bumble bees buzzing around. I have never seen so many bumble bees at the same time. At any one moment it seemed as if hundreds going from blossom to blossom.

I couldn't help but try to get some photos. Let me just say the bumble bees were not happy about me disturbing them and nor were these photos easy to take. I didn't realize how fast bumble bees were until I tried to photograph them.

One photo of the pink cherry blossom bloom.

Peaceful

2009-04-30T21:06:00.003-04:00

Two more sunsets.

More moments.

2009-04-30T20:26:00.003-04:00

During this sunset the sky was swirled with pink. It was as if there was fluffy pink cotton candy floating through the air.

Mmm, cotton candy. I remember my younger days of county fairs and skating rinks and enjoying that super sweet fluffed sugar with my friends. What wonderful memories.

Moments

2009-04-30T20:07:00.004-04:00

I love the way the sunrise is lighting the clouds. It's just so beautiful.

April snow

2009-04-30T19:54:00.005-04:00

I was driving down the road to photograph an old barn, when I saw a deer bedded down in the snow. I stopped and backed my car up, got out and took three photos before it ran away.

The old barn. I took a lot of photos, but only liked a few of them.

Thought this pond was beautiful with the snow and reflection.

Neglect

2009-04-30T19:28:00.003-04:00

I have been neglecting my blog. I don't have a good reason as to why. I have just not taken the time to sit down and type my thoughts or post any photos. My deepest apologies to my readers.

Peaceful

2009-04-04T15:45:00.007-04:00

I rarely have the opportunity to get out and capture sunrise or sunset photos due to my other responsibilities. However, when I am able I try to make the most out the opportunity. I think I did just that with these photos, aren't they beautiful?

Tinnitus

2009-04-03T20:19:00.003-04:00

No peace. No quiet. Constant. Shrill ringing. 24/7. It's torture.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone...

Matt, Liz and Madeline

2009-03-25T12:45:00.010-04:00

I have been reading this blog for a while. It is a story of a man who celebrated the birth of his daughter one day and experienced the death of his wife the next. The story is sad, but it is inspirational, too.

In a time when he could have ran and hidden from the world, Matt used his blog to voice his feelings, vent his frustrations and share his experience as a single father. I love that he's keeping Liz's memory alive and that he wears her wedding rings. I admire Matt for how he has chosen to keep moving forward and his decision to help others with the donations received through Liz's foundation. I think his actions speak volumes to the kind of person Matt is and the way he lives.

Matt's love and devotion to Maddy is so heartwarming. I know raising Maddy on his own wasn't the plan, but Matt is doing the best he can and he is doing it well.

Thankful

2009-03-22T10:56:00.003-04:00

I have a few friends that I am so blessed to have in my life. This blog is about them, I am sure it won't say everything that I want to say, but it's a start in telling them what I want them to know.

M.W. ~ For years we did not have the opportunity to be apart of each others' lives due to circumstances we could not control. There were times when I thought we'd never have a relationship because I wasn't sure how we'd ever make up for all the lost years. A little at a time our relationship grew into what I had always hoped we would have...one of unconditional love and support. I know no matter what may come you are there for me as I am there for you and nothing will ever keep us apart again.

Kerren ~ My dear friend, thank you for all your kind words and support. Your beautiful spirit shines through each time we correspond and I am so lucky to have met you.

Cyn ~ I love talking to you everyday. Hearing about your & Patrick's adventures brightens my days and makes me smile. The time I have spent with you is filled with wonderful memories and a lot of laughter.

Shawnnita ~ I remember the day we met in Le Fer Hall like it was yesterday. Little did I know then that I had met one of my best friends. Your spirit and strength inspire me to be a better person and to believe in my dreams. I hope you know how very much I miss you and how much you mean to me.

Jeannette ~ Your beautiful spirit and strength shine through each email. You are treasured and so are your wise thoughtful words.

MaryBeth ~ Your wisdom, wit and writing skills are admirable. I strive to be as eloquent as you. Thank you for noticing the little things and for the inspiration.

More than anything, I want these special ladies to know that their friendship, love and support makes all the difference to me. I am so thankful to have you in my life.

Love you all.

Wildlife

2009-03-13T21:20:00.008-04:00

Taking wildlife photos is challenging. I think that is why I like it so much because I have to make the most of each opportunity to get a photo that is any good. It's not like I can ask the deer to stand still while I get the perfect photo...it's all about being in the right place at the right time and being prepared.

Here are a few photos I like.

Three drakes in this photo, but the back two look like decoys.

Wild ones. They didn't stay around long.

I like this photo because of the light on the doe in the back. I love how she stands out.

Photos

2009-03-13T19:51:00.006-04:00

One step, continued...

2009-03-13T19:29:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I blogged about my struggles. Today, my workout went well. A friend called just as I had started to workout, so I listened and chatted with her as I worked out. The time passed quickly and I am feeling back on track! I know if just continue on and make little changes along the way that I will get to my goal weight and fitness level.

I do have to correct myself. I said that in the ten days I had worked out that I had gone over seven miles on the elliptical. I did not count yesterday's mileage in my mileage total, just the day, so to be correct the mileage is over eight...almost nine!

One step at a time

2009-03-12T10:50:00.005-04:00

I am struggling a bit...well, actually a lot. I am finding it very hard to get through my cardio workouts and get any strength training & ab work done. I am still determined to get fit and be healthy, but am letting my slow weight loss (& external factors) wear on me. I need to get through this quickly or I am afraid I will fail.

I am trying to work through this by continuing to put one foot in front of the other. My goal is to do cardio for a minimum of twenty minutes, five to six days a week. I would like to do more, but at this point just continuing with the exercise is what is important. I know if I can get through this phase I will be successful because by continuing I am making steps towards my goal.

While on the elliptical this morning, I totaled my miles for the twelve days of March. I have gone over seven miles on the ten days I have exercised. Although, I feel like I am struggling I guess I am making progress towards being fit and healthy. Maybe I just need to be more patient with myself and trust that the weight will come off if I just keep working out and eating right.

Learning opportunities & photos

2009-03-07T21:14:00.004-05:00

I love taking photos and want to be able to take good photos more often. My desire to improve has driven me to search for learning opportunities. I have looked into some online photography courses, but haven't found something that fit my needs that was within my budget. Knowing other opportunities had to be available, I searched the local library and found some great books on digital photography.

I try to incorporate what I read into my next photo shoot, so I can practice the technique or idea. I have learned a lot about lighting, focus and composition. I am really excited to be learning more about photography and look forward to continuing on my journey. I can't wait to see all the photos to come!

I like old barns, something about them makes me feel at ease. I think it may be that the old barns remind me of my early years when my parents farmed. I spent many a day tromping in and out of our barn playing with the calves, piglets and my ponies. Those memories are something I will treasure forever.

A few old barns...

This barn was restored a few years ago when it was moved. It doesn't have the old weathered look that the others do, but I like it.

2009-03-06T20:54:00.006-05:00

There are four ponies that live a mile or so down the road from me. I would love to bring them home with me and give them the love, care and attention they deserve. I am very concerned about one of the ponies. His/her physical condition isn't as good as the others.

I hope to find their owner visiting them sometime, so I can ask about taking pictures of the ponies and an old silo on the property. If I am lucky enough to talk to their owner then I will casually mention my love for horses & ponies and ask about the ponies. Hopefully, I can find out the ponies' stories and connect with the owner enough that I can get permission to take pictures and visit the ponies. If I can get permission to visit then I can keep a closer eye on them...and maybe just give them a little love.

2009-03-05T15:16:00.004-05:00

I live across the street from a cemetery and every time I look out my front window I see the cemetery. On most days there isn't much going on...an occasional visitor or car driving through. I try not to invade the privacy of those who visit their departed loved ones by looking out my window if I glance up and see car parked there. It's not that they know I see them but I feel like I am somehow being disrespectful to them, so I try not to look.

It's been hard not to look outside today, it's beautiful out...but there has been a lot of people visiting one grave site. It's a grave site that weighs heavily on me. It's the grave a 40 year old mother of five. I did not have the opportunity to meet Kathy when she was alive, but have thought a lot about her & her family since learning about her a year ago today. Kathy was a teacher at my two older daughter's school. She had been diagnosed with breast cancer just before she delivered her fifth child. She fought a brave battle and went through every treatment she could in hopes something would save her life. Unfortunately, the cancer had metastasized and only a miracle could have saved her.

Based on what I have read and heard about Kathy, she touched the lives of so many people and was well-loved by those who knew her. Here is part of a song that one of her fellow teachers wrote in her honor...

"This Angel that we knew was such a gift you see. She blessed each of our hearts and souls; she lived a life so free. This Angel flew on earth, and now she flies above. And when our thoughts turn to her, our hearts are filled with love." (Lyrics from "Angel (for Kathy") from Candle of Hope: Remembering and Celebrating Kathy Luby)

I think it's wonderful that Kathy is remembered so fondly and left those who knew her with so many memories...what a legacy for her children.

I wish I would have had the opportunity to meet Kathy, but since I never had the honor I will take away what I can from the way she lived life...

I will live life fully, I will love deeply & adore my family, I will try to inspire and bless those around me, and make the most out of each day I am blessed to have.

Progress

2009-03-01T20:12:00.006-05:00

I blogged earlier in the year about being determined to make some changes in my life. I am still as committed as the day I wrote that blog. I thought I might struggle with motivation, but even on the hardest days I have my goals in my sight.

My efforts to lead a healthier lifestyle have led to a 6.5 pound weight loss. Woo Hoo! I did 419 minutes of cardio on the elliptical in January going 12.96 miles. In February, I did 449 minutes of cardio on the elliptical going 15.5 miles! I have been doing strength training and ab work, too but not tracking the time.

I am proud of my progress, but have moments where I don't think it's good enough. I guess that's one of the things I need to change about myself...I need to not be so critical. I need to let myself be proud and chose not to be hard on myself. I may not be losing weight in large amounts, but I am making better choices and I am making time to exercise...so in time I will reach my goal. In the meantime, I will continue to take one step at a time towards a better me.

I have been making a little time for outside interests. I am currently stealing moments to take photographs. I love it. I look forward to my photography sessions and am constantly striving to improve. Thanks to my husband, I have two leads on possible opportunities with horses. I am so excited! It would be incredible to be in a barn again and back in the saddle. I will blog more about the opportunities as I learn about more about them.

I have continued to reconnect with old friends, but haven't found a lot of opportunity to make new friends. It's really hard for me to take that first step to go out and meet people, but I must do it even if it is a bit scary.

I am staying focused and continuing on my journey to make those changes...

Moments for me.

2009-02-18T21:27:00.000-05:00

I love taking photographs of nature and wild animals. It's a challenge to get great photos and makes me feel so alive each time I am able to get in the field whether it is for a few minutes or an hour. I wish I could go take photos whenever I wanted, but for now that's not the case. The photos I do take are the moments I steal for myself...the few moments I take to do something for me. I need more moments for me...

I saw these old barns and silo on a recent road trip. I snapped what photos I could while avoiding traffic, but oh do I wish I could take more as I love the look of this old place.

An old silo a mile or so from my house. It still has the wood shingle roof. I think there will be more pictures of this in the future.

I was hesitant to stand out in the rain with my camera to try to get these photos because I was afraid I would damage my camera...but I did it for a minute or so and was happy to get these pictures of raindrops.

Still inspired...

2009-02-15T18:58:00.003-05:00

A few photos from a recent adventure. I am looking forward to getting out again soon and taking more. Hopefully my subjects will continue to cooperate! Every photo I take makes me want to take more, I just have to find the time to get out in the field.

Isn't he beautiful?

I love this little one. Wish I would have had the photo more focused.

Sad

2009-02-12T19:03:00.003-05:00

On Monday, my dad's home was sold in a sheriff's sale. We knew this would happen, but it doesn't make it any easier to prepare for or accept. I think he has handled it better than I am, and I know he doesn't like it anymore than I do. For lack of a better way to describe the situation, it sucks.

I remember the house and land like I visited yesterday, but in reality I haven't been there in almost two years. The property is off a winding country road and it was a beautiful, secluded and peaceful place. The house sat atop a steep hill and the land had trees and rolling pasture, perfect for my horses. There was a small red horse barn with two big stalls and an area for hay. To the south of the property over the fence and down a steep wooded hill there was a creek, on really quite nights you could hear the water flowing. It was wonderful to sit in the yard and listen to the birds during the day and go out at night and look at the moon and stars. At night, sitting on the hill I swear it felt like you could reach up and touch the stars...they felt that close.

The neighbors were wonderful people. They would help clear the driveway of snow in the winter or build fence in the summer if needed. Mr. and Mrs. Christy would check in on my mom while my dad was working and then on my dad after my mom passed. They were the kind of people everyone needs as neighbors as they genuinely cared about others and would do whatever they could to help. The other neighbors were as nice, it's just the Christy's were always there if you needed them.

I know it's just a place and that I probably shouldn't be as sad as I am, but I am sad...very sad. This place was home. It wasn't just a house or a piece of property to me and my parents. I know I still have the memories, but it's hard to know I can't go 'home' ever again.

Winter Beauty

2009-02-07T21:35:00.006-05:00

I love these photos. The more photos I take, the more I want to take. It is addictive! I have been taking my camera with me everywhere, just in case I see something beautiful, interesting or inspiring so I can try to capture the moment.

Water rushing, steam rising from the water, snow on the ground and ice on the trees with light shining through...it was just beautiful!

Watching out for each other.

Watching me.

Icicles

2009-02-01T20:38:00.004-05:00

I love icicles. I think they are beautiful. I have been wanting to take pictures of icicles for all week, but didn't get it done until today. I really like these pictures...

I caught the drip of water!

Another drip...

Just one more...

Inspired

2009-01-27T19:37:00.009-05:00

Today, a dear friend inspired me to pursue something I love to do.

Thank you.

I'm "It".

2009-01-27T15:30:00.004-05:00

My friend, Mary Beth from Irishembi tagged me. I haven't met Mary Beth in person yet, but hope to sometime. We met through an online forum for pregnant women over two years ago. I am lucky to have her as a friend because Mary Beth is intelligent, funny and always there for support. I hope everyone has a friend like her because everyone needs one.

Now, on to the tag. I'm to go into my Pictures folder and find the fourth picture in my fourth file.

This is my fourth darling daughter, Jules on October 14, 2007. Jules was eight months old. Every year, we go to the apple orchard to pick apples and pumpkins. We rode out to the apple orchard on a hay wagon pulled by a tractor. The ride was a bit bumpy, but the girls all loved it. Jules loves apples and would snitch the apple from me everytime I tried a new one. I couldn't help but take a few, no make that several photos of our fun that day.

Thanks, MB for everything.

I tag Shawnnita, Boo and Kerren. Your it. :)

Honest Scrap Award

2009-01-27T07:41:00.009-05:00

I have been give the Honest Scrap award by two of my friends, Dani and Kate. Thanks ladies! :) I hope I am up for this...

Here are the rules of the award:

a) List 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep!

b) Pass the award on to 7 bloggers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

1. I have to shower every day. It's not a long shower, just long enough to wake me up.

2. I have battled with depression for years and started having panic attacks after the birth of my first daughter. I have found that exercise and taking Passion Flower helps so I opt for a more holistic approach.

3. I started college at 26 years old. It took me that long to get the courage to go. I spent a lot of money on a degree that isn't paying my bills and likely won't ever. I took out entirely too many student loans and wonder if I will ever get them paid off. I wish I had been smarter about choosing my degree and taking out loans.

4. I fear losing my memory. I have moments were my thoughts aren't clear and remembering things isn't easy. It's scary. I fear not being there for my girls and husband and being locked away somewhere all by myself.

5. I love to write, paint, draw and take photographs. I hope to write and illustrate a book for children. I have a few started and hope to complete one and send it to a publisher soon. I would also love to have a career in photography.

6. I use to own, train and ride horses. I loved to show and ride in the rodeo circuits. I gave up my horses for a while because I thought I would get them back one day, but now I am not so sure I will. I miss riding and the freedom that comes with it.

7. I am often afraid to try new things. I am afraid of failing, too. I need to let go of this and move on so I can accomplish my dreams.

8. I love to do nice things for my friends and family. It's never about having the same done for me but about brightening someone's day and letting them know how much I care about them. The one downfall...I let my feelings get hurt if I don't receive a thank you.

9. I wanted to be a veterinarian when I was a little girl.

10. Two of the best dogs I ever owned were Brute, a Golden Retriever, and Sampson, an English Mastiff. Brute was my show dog and we won lots of ribbons. Sam was my buddy. He weighed 220lbs in his prime and was always there by my side...his loyalty still makes me smile.

Well, there are my ten honest things and I hope you find them interesting.

I don't have seven people to send this to that haven't already received the award, so I am passing this onto two people that I don't think have received it, Shawnnita and Kerren, and noting five blogs, Mary Beth, Boo, Jen, Susie, and DD that make me laugh, think or inspire me. I hope that is good enough.

Stories

2009-01-25T17:08:00.003-05:00

Everyone has them, but how often do you really listen to the stories people tell about their lives. I can't be the only one who has a relative who will tell the same stories over and over again. I wasn't sure why these memories seem to be favorites of theirs, but I have heard the same stories from the same person more times than I can count or remember. In my younger days, I would listen long enough to know I was about to hear the same story I had heard before and then my mind would wander. I didn't mean to be disrespectful to the story teller. I was just too young and dumb to understand how important those stories were to them and why they wanted to share their memories with me.

I have learned to listen like it's the first time I have heard the story. I try to learn a little more about the story teller and fill in the blanks so I know a little bit more about the person they are, the person they were and the events that shaped their lives. I have also learned that I need to listen to these stories while I can because someday the story teller won't be around to share any more and then I will only have the memories of the story teller and the story.

I understand that by sharing their stories that they are giving me a glimpse into the history of our family. They are ensuring a little part of them lives on because as long as someone is sharing their story they live on and don't we all want to remembered and live on?

Determined

2009-01-20T19:37:00.002-05:00

I am determined to make some changes in my life. Some of these changes will likely be easier than others, but that's okay. I am up for the challenge.

I am choosing to lead a healthier lifestyle and to exercise on a regular basis. It's not about a number on a scale...it's about feeling good about myself and being able to do what I want to do whether it's sky diving, running a marathon or playing in the yard with my girls.

I will find time to pursue outside interests. I love my girls, but need a little me time. I will be a better parent for it.

I will continue to re-connect with old friends and try to make new friends while maintaining the relationships I do have. I have some wonderful friends, but most are in another state or country and it would be nice to have a few here.

I am sure there are more changes I can make, but this is my starting point.

More snow

2009-01-19T20:46:00.006-05:00

We received another seven inches of snow on Saturday. It was beautiful to watch falling to the ground, but absolutely no fun to drive in.

Here are a few pictures.

The view out my front window.

I love this Oak tree. I am not sure the picture does the tree justice...

Our high temperature today was 20 degrees and we had blue skies with sunshine! I am grateful for such a beautiful day!

Brr!

2009-01-15T12:24:00.003-05:00

It's too cold. Our temperature this morning was -1 degree Fahrenheit. It's now -2 degrees and it feels like -19 degrees with the wind chill. I don't mind snow, but I really dislike the bitter cold. It's uncomfortable to be outside for even a minute and even though I am dressed as warmly as I can be.

I am much happier being outside most of the time, but in these temperatures you will find me inside cuddled under a blanket with a cup of hot chocolate.

Snow

2009-01-12T20:34:00.005-05:00

A few pictures of recent snow fall.

More pictures to come as winter progresses...

Perfection

2009-01-12T20:05:00.003-05:00

Perfection. It's not something I will ever achieve in anything I do, but yet I drive myself crazy at times trying to make my project as close to perfect as I can. My desire to have things just so keep me from doing so many things, like posting here or starting a new drawing.

I have thoughts that I want to share, but can't seem to find the 'perfect' words so I start to write and then stop. I wonder if what I write is good enough, well thought out or worth sharing. I don't want those of you who do read to think I am stupid, crazy, and/or (fill in the blank).

I have always been much harder on myself than needed and am trying to be a little kinder to myself. So here's to letting go of the need to be perfect and to accepting that if I have done the best I can do at that moment that it will be good enough.

Snow

2009-01-09T19:54:00.002-05:00

It snowed last night. I went out this morning and cleaned off my car. Jumped in and started to back out when I realized the ground looked like it was covered with glitter. It was as if there were millions of tiny little diamonds scattered about. Everywhere my lights touched the ground glistened. It was so beautiful.

Changes continued...

2009-01-04T18:38:00.002-05:00

My dad came to visit on Thursday evening. I expected that he would leave on Saturday, but he surprised me and stayed until today. It was a nice visit. I didn't get a chance to talk to him alone, but I enjoyed the time we were able to spend together. After briefly talking with my dad's friend, I think I understand why his behavior has been a tad unpredictable.

He's been through so much since retiring. He went from being an over the road truck driver to staying at home caring for my mom. He lost my mom. He had to file bankruptcy. He had to leave his home of almost 23 years and move to a small efficiency apartment. He's had to go through seventy years worth of belongings and decide what he wanted and what he didn't.

It sounds bad to say I forgot how hard these changes have been on him, but I kind of did. I think it was self preservation. It was so difficult seeing him go through all of the changes because I know it was devastating to him. I have so wanted to 'fix' things for him so he didn't have to experience all of this because he deserves more than he has right now. I was driving myself crazy with worry. I needed to 'forget' just a little because I couldn't fix things for him and the financial help I have been able to offer has been/is so minimal. I wasn't enjoying my life and I felt so guilty when my dad was struggling and we were not. I needed space to realize I have helped him as much as I could with the resources I have and he knows this, so feeling bad that I cannot do more isn't helping either of us.

My dad's visit was a re-awakening of what I can do to help him. I am committed to offering what financial support I can, but I will also offer him more emotional support. He was always there for me in my times of need, so now it's my turn to step up. It's the right thing to do.

Changes

2008-12-30T19:06:00.006-05:00

My mom passed away in 2007. My relationship with my dad has gone through some changes since then. Initially, the relationship with my dad improved. We live six hours apart on a good day, so since I couldn't visit I would call him twice a day. I would call once in the morning and ask him about his plans for the day and then in the evening to see how his day went. I didn't want him to feel alone. I asked him if he'd eaten, what he had done that day, if he'd had any visitors...just anything and everything I could think of to talk to him about.

He and my mom were married for 51 1/2 years so the thought of him being alone was scary to me. I worried so much about him...

We visited my dad three or four times during the summer of 2007 helping him however we could. He enjoyed our visits as much as we did. He came to Michigan in the fall of 2007 to help us move. It was again a nice visit. He came in February of 2008 to watch my girls so I could attend an awards dinner with my husband. He was suppose to stay for several days to celebrate our fourth daughter's first birthday, but the next morning he had the car running before I was even out of bed...I was up at 8am. He's was gone fifteen minutes after I got up and a major snow storm was on the way.

Now, I am lucky if I talk to him once a month. I try to call at least once a week, but I am rarely able to contact him. I can't even count the number of times he has told me he was going to visit in a few weeks. He has visited a few times when he said he would, but more times than not he doesn't come. My issue with him not coming to visit is that when he says he is coming I (was) tell(ing) my girls and they get excited and when he doesn't show up they are disappointed. I had stopped telling them when he mentioned visiting because he was so frequently telling me he'd be coming only to not and I got tired of upsetting my girls.

Well, he told me once again that he was coming and I mistakenly told my girls. He was suppose to be here on December 13th, then the 26th, and then today. The phone message I received today said he'd be leaving tomorrow morning. My girls asked today if he was coming, my response was a simple "I don't know what Grandpa has planned." I won't make the mistake of telling them he's coming again.

I am sad because I have always been "Daddy's girl" and I don't feel like I am anymore. He's so unpredictable and the changes in him worry me. I don't know what to think or do. I guess I will wait and see how things are if and when he visits...

Snow

2008-12-19T13:47:00.003-05:00

I like snow. I like the way it falls gracefully to the ground and lands gently on the trees. One of my favorite things to do is to saddle up and go for a long trail ride when it is snowing, but I haven't been able to do this for years so now I take walks and snow shoe.

We have over fourteen inches of snow on the ground and more is falling right now. I hope to be able to go snow shoeing tomorrow. It's a great workout, but more than the workout I would like to have a little time for me...just a few minutes to gather my thoughts and breathe.

Making the world a more beautiful place.

2008-12-11T21:12:00.004-05:00

I wanted to have a place to share the adventures of raising my five girls, so I created a blog for that, too. Life is never dull with 1 teenager, 2 pre-teens, a toddler and a newborn. I am blessed to have them all, but sometimes I wonder what the heck was I thinking! I am so out numbered. I only hope they have mercy on me...

http://makingtheworldamorebeautifulplace.blogspot.com

A homeless man.

2008-12-10T17:02:00.006-05:00

There is a homeless man who 'lives' in our area. I see him on his bicycle holding what I presume are his belongings in a trash bag and dragging the edge of a very dirty blanket on the ground. On rainy and snowy days he wears a pair of big yellow boots...the kind a firefighter wears and holds a black umbrella shielding himself from the weather. He is now wearing a hat, gloves and insulated overalls to help keep him warm in our winter weather.

Every time I see him, I wonder what his name is and what circumstances led him to be homeless. I wonder if he has family and if they know he's homeless or even care. I wonder how he keeps warm and if he gets to eat everyday.

I know if I were homeless I would hope and pray that someone would help me, do you think he feels the same?

Natural beauty.

2008-12-09T09:07:00.007-05:00

Over the summer I found a fabulous trail not far from our house. The trail is just off a road that has a canopy of trees on both sides that form an archway. This road is called a natural beauty road and rightfully so. It's beautiful no matter what time of year you drive down it. In the spring the buds of the leaves begin to fill the sky and the wild flowers begin to bloom along the edges of the road. The archway is filled with green, red, and yellow leaves in the summer and the dashes of blue from flax flowers add to the scenic view. In the fall, the trees with their red, yellow and orange leaves form a fiery archway. The archway is only filled with branches in the winter and the snow looks like a thick frosting sitting atop them.

I had intended to write about the trail and the time I spent walking there during the summer, but I guess that will be for another day.

The road.

A few more pictures

2008-12-05T19:42:00.004-05:00

Beautiful dragonflies.

A few pictures from summer

2008-12-05T18:22:00.011-05:00

Aren't these butterflies beautiful?

A snake!

My first blog!

2008-12-05T17:19:00.006-05:00

I have wanted to start a blog for sometime, but hesitated for a lot of reasons. One of the reasons was I am afraid of failing and feared that no one would ever read my blog or wouldn't like what I had to say.

I am letting go of my fear of failing. It's just a blog, right? Can I really fail at writing my own blog!?! I don't think so. :) I have also decided that it will be just fine if no one ever reads my blog or if what I write isn't liked because it's not about anyone but me.

I do not intend to sound selfish. It's just that I need a little something for me and this is it. Welcome to my blog.